NON’s "My Awakening": Words for Facing Fear and Moving Forward with Confidence

Hi, I'm Non. I'm honored to be writing about "My Awakening" for this series, and I'd like to talk about my recent experience filming the DMM TV original drama "Happy Kanako's Killer Life."

This project was my first ever attempt at an action series. I've always had a strong interest in action films-whether it's Marvel or DC' live-action adaptations, or Akira Kurosawa's films. I love works, both from Japan and abroad, that feature action and superheroes. I've always admired roles like that and hoped for the chance to challenge myself with one.

When I was offered the role of Kanako, Director Tsutomu Hanabusa told me, "I'm planning to expand the action scenes," and I thought, "This is my chance." However, with any project, I always carry anxiety with me until it reaches the audience. Self-doubt was a constant companion, with questions like, 'What will the final result be?', 'Will I fit into the role?', and 'Will I be able to express the world we're trying to create?' echoing in my mind. Especially this time, with my first action role, it felt like a huge challenge, since I had never taken on a role in an assassin story before.

"Happy Kanako's Killer Life" is a cynical comedy centered around a hitwoman. One challenge was figuring out how to portray comedy without it feeling insensitive. Personally, I enjoy dark comedies like Guy Ritchie's "Snatch," but expressing that kind of sharp humor within a pop and colorful world like Kanako's was something entirely different  and quite difficult. In that sense, this was a deeply challenging project for me.

For action training, I started with stretching exercises to improve flexibility, then moved on to mastering the basics of punches and kicks. I focused on refining my movements by thinking, "How can I make my kicks look more impressive?" To achieve higher kicks, I worked on loosening my hip joints, and to make my movements more fluid and elegant, I strengthened my core. Little by little, I kept refining my technique.

The truth is, I don't really like exercising, and I'm usually not very motivated to move my body. But with action scenes, I had a clear vision-like, "I want to pull off this cool move" or "I want to create beautiful lines with my motions." Because I had that goal in mind, training and building my body for those expressions didn't feel like a burden. If it were just about going to the gym to stay in shape, I probably wouldn't have been able to keep it up this much! (laughs)

Looking back, it was honestly really tough - but also so much fun! Even during the shoot, whenever I checked the monitor, I found more and more moments that I thought looked cool as the days went by, and I was genuinely happy to see myself improving. Now, I find myself wanting to move sharper, be even more precise - my hunger for action keeps growing. I definitely want to take on more action roles in the future.

Through this experience, I feel like my range of expression has expanded. Acting is all about being in sync with your scene partner-matching dialogue, emotional flow, and timing. When everything clicks, it's incredibly satisfying. But with action, I discovered there's something beyond just being in sync. It's about syncing your body movements and creating rhythm. In action, "being in sync" becomes something visible and physical. Expressing aesthetic precision has always been a challenge for me, but this experience helped me break through. This was my awakening.

Still, action is really tough. But after overcoming the challenge of syncing in action scenes, I feel like the hurdles I face in everyday life don't scare me as much anymore.

For example, I've always struggled with one-on-one conversations, especially when meeting someone for the first time. I'm fine with sharing my thoughts or answering questions in interviews, but I get nervous making casual small talk. However, after overcoming the tension of action scenes, I feel like I can handle it (even though I'm still not great at small talk with strangers), which is kind of strange.

Trying something new always brings anxiety and tension. I face big and small challenges every day - like releasing songs or works that reflect my personal message, or launching my own projects. It's tough, but there are times when those challenges reach someone, or become a source of hope for them. Those moments are exhilarating, and I absolutely love them.

So if there's someone out there feeling excited and nervous about taking on a new challenge, I'd like to say, "Why not start with the smallest hurdle within yourself?"  Once you overcome that first obstacle, you'll think, "Maybe I can do this too," and doors will begin to open. At the same time, you'll get to know yourself better, which will surely lead to confidence. Maintaining that confidence while pushing yourself is challenging, but if you relieve some of the pressure by reminding yourself, "It's scary, but my life isn't at risk," it can make facing the challenge a little easier.

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